brave
its september first, which means that 2016 is officially 75% complete.
and i have one question. where did the time go?
eight months and one day ago, i went on a date and attended a New Year's Eve party with someone and we got to talking about resolutions.
i've never been good at making (or keeping) resolutions, but every year i pick a word that i try to live by.
this year Jesus picked a word for me: brave.
it felt foreign at first and i didn't even like saying it. it was a word that i resisted and rejected and fought. until i knew i had to give in. i knew that 2016 had a lot in store for me, and deep down i knew that i had to be brave in the midst of it. brave in making big decisions. brave even in making small decisions.
at first i thought bravery meant putting on fancy clothes and shaking hands until i got a "big girl job". i thought it meant single handedly saving the american education system. i thought it meant moving across the country and starting my life over in a brand new city. but boy, was i wrong.
four months ago, i graduated college and drove my mom's car to Oregon- where i work in the laundry room at a summer camp, serving kids and serving the Kingdom. on my way here, i texted my parents to tell them i was getting close. my dad replied, "yeah!!! go forth and be brave!"
i had not told my dad about my quest for bravery, and yet here he was cheering me on. i got that text in Biggs Junction, Oregon and cried for ten minutes at a gas station because i was overjoyed. for the first time, brave felt like something i could do.
the more i walk through 2016, the more i realize that brave can sometimes be simple. here's a little bit of what brave has looked like for the last 8 months:
brave is asking someone out on a first date
brave is graduating college
brave is moving to Oregon for the summer
brave is sharing you life with the people around you
brave is asking for the truth even when you know it might be hard to hear
brave is moving home to live with your parents
brave is not knowing all the answers and doing it anyway
as a part of my quest for bravery, i read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (which i highly recommend) and after a lot of research on shame and guilt and what it means to be vulnerable and to dare, she finds that most of the hard work is done in showing up.
i am less than a week away from leaving the comfort of my summer camp home here in Antelope, Oregon and will be transitioning into a period of the unknown. but i will keep showing up.
i am scared out of my mind. but i will keep showing up.
i have a quarter of the year left, and i have a feeling that this will be the bravest time yet. and because i have learned that bravery can be simple, i will spend the next four months continuing to show up.
so here's to trusting the Lord enough to step blindly into whatever is next
to being an unemployed college grad living at home, and knowing that i am still a good person worthy of a good life
to being brave in my daily words and actions for now, and being brave in the big things when i am called to that
it may not make a lot of sense to you, and if i'm honest, its not what i expected either, but its what i've got.
thank you Jesus for placing bravery on my heart eight months ago and for continuing to show me that brave doesn't mean perfect, it means following the nudges.
and i have one question. where did the time go?
eight months and one day ago, i went on a date and attended a New Year's Eve party with someone and we got to talking about resolutions.
i've never been good at making (or keeping) resolutions, but every year i pick a word that i try to live by.
this year Jesus picked a word for me: brave.
it felt foreign at first and i didn't even like saying it. it was a word that i resisted and rejected and fought. until i knew i had to give in. i knew that 2016 had a lot in store for me, and deep down i knew that i had to be brave in the midst of it. brave in making big decisions. brave even in making small decisions.
at first i thought bravery meant putting on fancy clothes and shaking hands until i got a "big girl job". i thought it meant single handedly saving the american education system. i thought it meant moving across the country and starting my life over in a brand new city. but boy, was i wrong.
i had not told my dad about my quest for bravery, and yet here he was cheering me on. i got that text in Biggs Junction, Oregon and cried for ten minutes at a gas station because i was overjoyed. for the first time, brave felt like something i could do.
the more i walk through 2016, the more i realize that brave can sometimes be simple. here's a little bit of what brave has looked like for the last 8 months:
brave is asking someone out on a first date
brave is graduating college
brave is moving to Oregon for the summer
brave is sharing you life with the people around you
brave is asking for the truth even when you know it might be hard to hear
brave is moving home to live with your parents
brave is not knowing all the answers and doing it anyway
as a part of my quest for bravery, i read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (which i highly recommend) and after a lot of research on shame and guilt and what it means to be vulnerable and to dare, she finds that most of the hard work is done in showing up.
i am less than a week away from leaving the comfort of my summer camp home here in Antelope, Oregon and will be transitioning into a period of the unknown. but i will keep showing up.
i am scared out of my mind. but i will keep showing up.
i have a quarter of the year left, and i have a feeling that this will be the bravest time yet. and because i have learned that bravery can be simple, i will spend the next four months continuing to show up.
so here's to trusting the Lord enough to step blindly into whatever is next
to being an unemployed college grad living at home, and knowing that i am still a good person worthy of a good life
to being brave in my daily words and actions for now, and being brave in the big things when i am called to that
it may not make a lot of sense to you, and if i'm honest, its not what i expected either, but its what i've got.
thank you Jesus for placing bravery on my heart eight months ago and for continuing to show me that brave doesn't mean perfect, it means following the nudges.
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